How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
