even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
