in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Banned from zoo.
Again?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
