I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Is her dick bigger than yours?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
