you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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