So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
