i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
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