Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
