Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
