Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
