i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
