this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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