Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
