garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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