The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
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