it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
