brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
