What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
