shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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