I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
