remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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