Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize