I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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