come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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