We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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