I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
