Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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