I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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