Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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