What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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