Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
