Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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