I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
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Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
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I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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