i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
