if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
