on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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