Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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