I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
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