you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
