I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
