We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
