party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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