Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
