I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
you inspire me to be a worse person
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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