Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
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GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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