Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize