Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Are we still banned from the library?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
