hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
ugly people sure do ruin things
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
