You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
