Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
