vagina is talking i cant
Dignity is for republicans.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
