I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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