if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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