Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so explain again why im purple
no
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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