someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
