..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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