Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
