no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
