I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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