If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
COCAINE IS GR8
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
