My hand turned me down
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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