could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize