I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
