I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
